Ben and sister Kelly in Paris, 2005
Chronology since Day 1 (March 2, 2016) is below.
Ben Missing Flyer. More photos of Ben are below.
On March 2, 2016, my son Ben Archer disappeared. Many people love Ben, and we all miss him. So over the years, I have tried to keep everyone up to date on the news of the case, whenever there is news.
Today I realized that many people need fast information and a way to find it quickly. So this new page will be where I keep updates from now on about our Benjamin instead of having them scattered on different blogs and different pages.
This is also a place where I will share the links to anything I have written or will write, when grief and fear and hope need an outlet. If you love someone who is missing, you will understand this need to express these huge emotions. If you ever want to talk, contact me at any time.
Please share Ben’s Missing Person Case Link *
My mantra. "Breathe in hope. Breathe out fear." He's not gone. He's just not here.
These four photos below were taken just days before he disappeared at the last place we saw Ben, Dupont State Park in Delaware City, c.Noon, March 2, 2016.
Note: Several of these earlier links lead to stories which were deleted by me at the request of my family. The reason was, they believed Ben might have continued to read this blog since he was one of our contributing photographers. He may have meant to come home but, seeing all the police activity, confusion and worry, he might be too embarrassed to do so. So I took down the 1st couple of weeks. I keep our family updated by email. But after days turned into weeks, we as a family decided to make the updates public again. Those with an *asterisk included the old NAMus.gov link which has been changed and updated above. It is: https://www.namus.gov/MissingPersons/Case#/33696 MARCH 05: Gems Photographer (My Son) In Danger* 05: My Son Is Missing - Update March 5th* 06: Missing Son - Gems Photographer - Update March 6* 07: Day 5 - Short Version: No News* 10: Day 8 - Keep Going Mom* 11: Day 9 - Missing Son/Gems Photographer/No News* 12: Day 10 - Ben, Day 10 - Gratitudes* 13: Ben's Vision (Day 11, 13 Gratitudes* 14: Day 12: No News* 15: Day 13: 15 Gratitudes* 16: Missing Benjamin 14 | 16 (Congressman John Carney) 17: Missing Benjamin: Day 15 18: Missing Benjamin: Day 16 18: /gems* 17: Easter Morning, Mary's Song (2016) APRIL 03: Living Arrows (One Month, One Day) 19: "The earth is like a child..." (Day 49) 20: "Plant your own garden..." (Day 51) 21: "It's not your job..." (Day 51) 22: "Live in such a way..." (Day 52) 25: "When food is prepared..." (Day 55) 26: "A friend is someone who knows..." (Day 56) 27: "Do you know what people really want..." (Day 57) 28: "You have it easily in your power..." (Day 58/"Dear Ben") 29: "Today I choose life..." (Day 59/"Dear Ben") MAY 01: "Our main business is not..." (Two Months/"Dear Ben") 04: "You've probably noticed..." (Dear Ben) 06: "I am not afraid of storms..." (Dear Ben) 09: "Forgiveness doesn't excuse..." (Dear Ben) 10: "Be realistic. Expect a miracle." (Dear Ben) 12: "The journey of a thousand miles..." (All My Children) 13: "Not to spoil the ending..." (Dear Kelly) 20: "Friday's Child"(Ben spotted a month ago...") 24: "Talent without discipline..." 25: "Wouldn't this old world be better..." (Dear Ben) 26: "The best way to have a good idea..." (Dear Ben) 28: Friday's Child 2: "Summer Again" (Dear Ben) 31: "Some people..." (Dear Ben) JUNE 01: "He who cannot howl..." Out of Flippin' Nowhwere (Fear) 02: "I have two kinds of problems..." (Dear Ben) 03: Friday's Child 3: "The beginning of the end..." (Dear Ben) 06: "...all that is left is original love." (Dear Ben) 07: qamuSHa’! 13: Explore the Nuances ("Dear Beautiful Ones...") 22: "You can trust us to stick to you..." 24: "It is with great sadness and deep regret..." JULY 08: Friday's Child: Work Like a Beaver and Walk Like a Cat 09: Hymn to Life AUGUST SEPTEMBER OCTOBER 11: Two Gifts (Dear Mama) 19: Beautiful Pain NOVEMBER DECEMBER
JANUARY 01: under1000skies - A History 15: For Ben (Kelly's Video to Ben)
FEBRUARY 21: Ben's 33rd birthday, the first without him. MARCH APRIL MAY 18: Miss This Guy (Kelly's vid of Uncle Ben and Evie from 2014)
MAY 27: Joyful One (on Service Space) JUNE JULY AUGUST SEPTEMBER OCTOBER NOVEMBER DECEMBER
JANUARY FEBRUARY 2: Hollowing 21: Ben's 34th birthday, the second without him. MARCH 3: Two Years APRIL MAY 10: I Can Never Repay You 13: Sunlit Dreams 16: A Gathering of the Tribe JUNE 3: Pablo and Benjamin 18: Reverence: Food ☼ Fire ☼ Fear JULY AUGUST SEPTEMBER NOVEMBER 6: 1000 Days DECEMBER 02: Strong Enough 13: My Benny (Video) 31: Thank You, Gentle Stranger
December 13, 2018
December 13, 2018: I created this^ video yesterday to help get the word out about Ben. It is set to two songs we loved and all sang together a lot, “Wheel in the Sky” and “Lights” both by Journey. I used photos from his life, from age -3 months when I was pregnant with him in Kenosha, WI, to the last photo of him I took and the last place he was seen. It includes many photos he shared with me for under1000skies. Another song I play often when I think of him that helps is “Don’t Stop Believing.” I won’t. If you feel inspired to do so, please share the link to this page anywhere you like.
I appreciate every single person who has shared Ben’s poster, sent prayers and good thoughts, and kind notes of encouragement over the years.
I’ll never be able to repay you, but I promise to continue to pay your kindness forward.
With so much gratitude,
♥. Niki Flow
JANUARY 13: Keening 25: Gems 5.19 FEBRUARY 04: Gems 5.20 (The Buttons for Benjamin announcement post) 04: Gems 5.20 05: Weeks 5-11 (Take 3) 21: Gems 5.33 (Ben's 35th birthday, 3rd without him) 21: Day 01, The Wish (B4B Kickoff KindSpring.org 21-Day Challenge) 22: Day 02, The Day 23: Day 03, The List 24: Day 04, The Name 25: Day 05, The Meaning 26: Buttons for Benjamin - Week 1 26: Day 06, The Alphabet 27: Day 07, The Date 28: Day 08, The Rock MARCH 01: Day 09, The Note 02: Day 10, The Letter 03: Day 11, The Card 04: Day 12, The Marathon 05: Buttons for Benjamin - Week 2 05: Day 13, The Loan 06: Day 14, The Memoriam 07: Day 15, The Mirror 08: Day 16, The Share 09: Day 17, The Buddy 10: Day 18, The Postcard 11: Day 19, The Kiss 12: Day 20, The Text 12: Buttons for Benjamin - Week 3 13: Day 21, The Song 19: Buttons for Benjamin - Week 4 26: Buttons for Benjamin - Week 5 APRIL 02: Buttons for Benjamin - Week 6 09: Buttons for Benjamin - Week 7 18: Buttons for Benjamin - Week 8 19: Easter Morning, Mary's Song (4) MAY 28: I Will Reignite JUNE 04: Gems 5.75 09: Captured from History 23: (New page) Free Quote Cards 26: Dear Rowdy 28: Good News/Bad News JULY 08: Ash 19: Flooded AUGUST SEPTEMBER OCTOBER 15: New Cards NOVEMBER 1: Watercolor Painting DECEMBER 7: Live Now
Buttons for Benjamin will continue until Ben comes home, but I won’t be keeping records. This is a promise to do at least one daily act of kindness and, where appropriate, leave a Button (I had dozens made) to get the word out about my missing son. If you would like some buttons, let me know.
JANUARY 13: Vital FEBRUARY 21: Ben's 36th birthday, the fourth without him. MARCH 2: Four Years APRIL MAY 6: Haiku for You, Mariana JUNE JULY AUGUST SEPTEMBER 24: Joy OCTOBER NOVEMBER 05: I Will Never Stop Looking. m December 01: Day 1 03: Wise Guy
JANUARY FEBRUARY 21: Ben's 37th birthday, the sixth without him. MARCH Five Years. APRIL MAY JUNE JULY AUGUST SEPTEMBER 21: Don't Ask OCTOBER NOVEMBER December
JANUARY FEBRUARY 21: Ben's 37th birthday, the fifth without him. About My Son MARCH 2: Six Years 24: Butterfly Moments APRIL 8: Unflinchingly 28: YouTube Art (see below) MAY JUNE JULY AUGUST SEPTEMBER OCTOBER NOVEMBER December
Ben was one of our top contributing photographers for under1000skies. If you type “Ben Archer” into the search box here (or click that link) you’ll see all the photos he shared during his trip around the United States in 2015. Ben’s companion during his 2015 trip, Contessa (Tessa) Brown, was also another generous and gifted photographer, and her photos coincide with that time. The beautiful photo on the banner for this page was taken by Tessa.
2015: Homeless or Nomadic?
Ben was homeless by choice, or “nomadic” as he preferred to call it, when he traveled in 2015. During his travels, he had money, a car, and friends he traveled with.
Where Is My Son?
When Ben left on that cold morning, March 2, 2016, he had nothing on him but the clothes he wore (grey yoga pants and a striped thin cotton polo), and he was alone. No wallet, no shoes, no jacket. Everything is still in his room here. He went to the park, and the last time his younger brother and my husband saw him, Ben was at the park, meditating by the river. He promised to be home in an hour.
The Delaware State Police and Delaware City Police did a search the morning after he disappeared, immediately after I filed the Missing Person Report. They used dogs, men, thermal scans and even helicopters to check the river in the search for him. They found nothing. It was as if he got sucked off the face of the earth. There have been possible sightings since then, but only in the early days and none were ever confirmed.
Thank you for your interest. I’m grateful for everyone who has shared Ben’s poster and for their prayers and kind support. Please pass Ben’s Missing Person Case Link (<– NEW URL) to everyone you know. My mother’s heart will never let me do anything but hope, and so I believe he is well and living a new adventure. So if you do see him, please tell him to call his mom.
“If I Could Be Where You Are”
Where are you this moment?
Only in my dreams
You’re missing, but you’re always
A heartbeat from me
I’m lost now without you
I don’t know where you are
I keep watching, I keep hoping
But time keeps us apart
Is there a way I can find you
Is there a sign I should know
Is there a road I could follow
To bring you back home?
Winter lies before me
Now you’re so far away
In the darkness of my dreaming
The light of you will stay
If I could be close beside you
If I could be where you are
If I could reach out and touch you
And bring you back home
Is there a way I can find you
Is there a sign I should know
Is there a road I could follow
To bring you back home